(a reluctant rewrite)
A bit of a preface………….
Several years ago I wrote a very short story with this same title (less the parenthetical comment). It was published on one web site or another but for the life of me, I cannot find it. And so I will attempt a rewrite – reluctantly!
Back a few (well, a lot of ) years my immediately family included Mom & Dad, Sister Sheila (aka “She-She”), Brother David and yours truly. Remembering as best I can, She-She was 11 or 12, I was about 5 or 6 and Brother David – 3 or 4 years old. Pardon all the numbers. Sorry Brother Tom, you were a few years away yet and when you finally entered this life we were living in a duplex on 1st street along side Uncle Henry and his family. Does anyone remember the “Uncle Henry Club” initiation ceremony that took place in his half of the basement of that house? Already digressions, I wish I could learn to keep on task! OK, enough for first notes.
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Before getting specific, let me tell you about Uncle Henry from a little boy’s perspective. He was drafted into the US Army early WWII time frame. He was an ambulance driver and did serve in several war theaters. As far as I know, that part of his accounts of those days is true. All else, like being wounded, and the hand to hand combat with the Japanese General, whom he beheaded in a sword fight, and the capturing of a Japanese Command Headquarters single handedly are all figments of his wonderful imagination. Have you ever met a man who, no kidding, never had a enemy? In his post war life, that was Uncle Henry, or Hank as I called him many years later. He, my Dad, and Uncle Tommy, along with my Grandma and Grandpa ran the Rainbow Restaurant. Uncle Henry was the Lunch and Dinner cook and ran that kitchen as if it were the stage in the Comedy Club, 40th St., between 2nd and 3rd Ave., New York City. And he had plenty of customers to practice his jokes, tricks, gags, and pranks on. Most of the “regulars” of the restaurant’s tap room entered the building at the back door, through the kitchen, down the hall, and into the tap room.
I promise I will get to the rocket ship but first must convey what I consider to be the most ingenious prank he ever pulled in the kitchen during a supper rush hour. Keep in mind, through all of this Uncle Henry was preparing literally dozens of food orders simultaneously. I was a bit older (14) when this happened and so my memory of it is exceptionally clear. The restaurant was located right next to “The Berkshire Eagle” building - the local newspaper and Uncle Henry had many, many friends that worked there. He had a couple of the guys print up a phony front page and put it on top of the rest of the next days paper. It looked as real as any newspaper ever published by “The Eagle”. I was working in the kitchen making pizzas at the time of this prank and was privileged to watch him work his magic on at least 15 poor souls that chose to walk through the restaurant that night..
A mark would walk through the kitchen and say hi to him. Typically he would shout back “HI LUCKY” - he called just about everyone that. But this night, the game was on. He just stood there, folded newspaper on the serving table, head lowered, sobbing and actually CRYING. Oh my God Henry… what happened!? Without saying a word or looking up, he handed his mark the folded paper. They opened it to read the headlines….
President Eisenhower Assassinated!Their face would turn white, their eyes glazed over and as they returned their look to Uncle Henry they would see him standing there with the widest, most infectious wise guy, gotcha smile you can possibly imagine. I won’t repeat the comments from there on! And don’t forget, he put this show on at least 15 times that evening - tears and all! Well anyway, that gives you a flavor of his personality.
There are (still are) two apartments on top of the Rainbow Restaurant. Mom & Dad, She-She, David and I lived in one, and Uncle Henry and his family lived in the other. I suppose that through some years beyond, many of the Sacchetti clan lived in those wonderful apartments. They shared a common “back porch / patio from which you could sit and watch the trains go by. And that was pretty cool for a 5 year old. Some 60 years later I still have many memories of my life back then, and many involve, to one degree or another, my favorite Uncle - Henry! It would be very easy at this point to run into tangent stories (again) of him and so I will do my very best to stay on the theme of this one particular story - of Uncle Henry’s Rocket Ship!
Well, having said that, I do need to digress only to mention that Uncle Henry was very close to my Mom & Dad. As such he was always in our apartment having a cup of coffee or whatever, and telling one tall tale or another to anyone else that happened to be visiting. And there was always someone visiting. Uncle Henry was “the family character”! I mean to say, this guy was unbelievably believable, even though you know better than to believe anything he had to say.. He could remove his thumb and put it back again, make water glasses disappear before your very eyes, rub a quarter into his arm and make it reappear in your ear, poke a toothpick through one cheek and make it come out the other.. You name it, Uncle Henry could do it. Well crap! I managed to digress again after all. Sorry - back to the rocket ship.
Uncle Henry’s Rocket Ship was in, of all places, my Mom & Dad’s kitchen - right there between a side cabinet and the back door to the apartment. To most everyone, the rocket ship looked incredibly like an electric top loading, wringer, clothes washing machine. From recollection, it was one of the very first manufactured for home use. You know the type right? A cylindrical body standing on four cast iron legs, removable top, a set of rollers with a crank to wring out the clothes, and a long silver handle with a black ball on top on the side. The long silver handle with the black ball on top was there to operate the clutch which, when engaged, would cause the agitator inside the machine to begin swishing the clothes back and forth. And if I were asked “what’s that machine called Johnny” I would answer simply, it’s a new washing machine! That is, until the day that Uncle Henry opened my eyes to the truth behind it.
That day, my Mom and Dad were both home along with David. She-She was off somewhere and in walks Uncle Henry in his typical mischievous mood. I can remember Uncle Henry giving me a “psssttttt” - and in a whispered voice saying “wanna go for a ride in a rocket ship Johnny?”. Well sure enough, what 5 year old wouldn’t want to.
Where is the rocket ship Uncle Henry?
Why it’s right over there, disguised as a washing machine.
But I see my Mom using it to wash clothes all the time.
Sure, that’s why it’s such a great disguise. Besides, if I didn’t disguise it, everyone would want to take it into outer space.
All of this was making perfect sense to a 5 year old with an imagination almost as wondrous as his. Mom & Dad were just sitting there at the kitchen table with blank looks on their faces. David said “well I wanna go too”. Uncle Henry says OK, plenty of room for both of you.
Are you ready?
And with that he removed the cover and hoisted David and I up into the machine. Stand right there for a minute and I’ll be right back. He disappeared out the back door and came back a minute later with a WWII German helmet. Uncle Henry had a whole museum of war artifacts including several Japanese rifles, a German Lugar, art, various other ill gotten nick knacks and a Samurai Sword (with which he beheaded that Japanese General I mentioned).
He put the helmet on my head. I asked what it was for. He explained that when we took off, I would need it to protect my head when we went through the ceiling. With that, David started crying. What’s wrong David? I want a helmet too so that my head won’t get banged when we crash into the ceiling. Well, Uncle Henry only had one helmet so my Mom went over to a cupboard and produced a pot, just the right size for David’s head. With pot on head, David was all smiles.
OK here’s how it works. Since you’re the biggest Johnny, to lift off, all you have to do is pull that long silver handle with the black ball on it. The rocket ship will do the rest and you will be off into outer space. I think it was then that my Brother began to cry again. With that he put my hand on the black ball on top of that long silver handle and said… “whenever you’re ready Johnny just pull the handle”. But wait Uncle Henry, what’s that crank and those roller things for? Well he says, when you get to the moon, there isn’t as much gravity to hold you down. So you’ll throw a rope over the side and put the other end through the rollers and when you turn the handle, it will crank you down to the surface and hold you there. David was crying a little louder. The fact that we didn’t have a rope didn’t occur to me. I had too many other things on my mind.
So there we were, standing in the washing machine, my hand on the long silver handle with the black ball on top, David crying and I, just a little hesitant to give it the pull to launch us. I don’t have specific recollections but cannot believe that my Mom and Dad weren’t holding back bursts of laughter. The longer I stood there, the more nervous and scared I got. David started yelling “don’t do it Johnny don’t do it…mommy mommy let me out of this thing, I don’t wanna go I don‘t wanna go”. Mom lifted him out and I said, well… if he’s not going I won’t either. It is strange how some images stay with you, like the tears streaming down my Dad’s face as I scrambled out of that contraption. And I’ll never forget the sound of that helmet hitting the linoleum floor. I don’t remember Uncle Henry’s reaction when all was said and done but I am sure it was one of complete satisfaction!
Some thirty years later I was back in my hometown driving down a residential street. I noticed a “yard sale” sign and there on that front lawn was an electric top loading washing machine. It looked identical to the one I remembered from my youth. I couldn’t help but stop - the memories of Uncle Henry’s Rocket Ship were alive in my mind. I pulled over and went up on the lawn to talk with the resident, somewhat younger than I. He was friendly enough and we started talking. The washing machine belonged to his Grandpa and had been in his garage for many years - it was finally time to get rid of it. I told him the Rocket Ship story. He listened attentively, smiling occasionally and when I finish he said….
Well this is NOT a Rocket Ship, my Grandpa told me long ago that it was a TIME MACHINE. You pull the long silver handle with the black ball on it and you go back in time… and if you push it…………..
Uncle Henry 1920 - 1990
“ I miss you Hank!”
(picture courtesy of my favorite Cousin Carol)
, also known as steamers, long necks, and spitters cost $2.50 a pound. In Billings Montana they would probably cost $6.50 or even more. Well, to be fair to those who dig clams commercially, the price needs to be adjusted upwards by a factor of 10! I went out onto Long Cove clam flats for 45 minutes - got 48 clams (about 2 pounds), 2 blisters, and one hell of a cardio workout
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I described my clam rake in a previous post. That, a bucket, and a pair of good boots are all you need to go "clamming". Although as you'll see in a picture to follow, I am including a pair of long rubber gloves.
If you look close in the picture above, you'll see me out there diggin' clams. I went a bit further out into the flats but I started sinking in to within a few inches of the top of my boots - so I came back in a bit. Below is a close up and as you can see, the mud is well up over my ankles. It is very hard to move around. The suction is unbelievably strong. To lift a leg, you need to twist your foot about 10 degrees and pull up immediately. Forget to do the little twist action before taking a step, your body will move forward but your foot will stay right where it was and you will go ass over tea cup into the cool, cool mud.
Here's what I looked like after less than an hour on the flats. I learned that one other "tool" is needed - a supply of water to wash both clams and hand.
If you look close in the picture above, you'll see me out there diggin' clams. I went a bit further out into the flats but I started sinking in to within a few inches of the top of my boots - so I came back in a bit. Below is a close up and as you can see, the mud is well up over my ankles. It is very hard to move around. The suction is unbelievably strong. To lift a leg, you need to twist your foot about 10 degrees and pull up immediately. Forget to do the little twist action before taking a step, your body will move forward but your foot will stay right where it was and you will go ass over tea cup into the cool, cool mud.
Here's what I looked like after less than an hour on the flats. I learned that one other "tool" is needed - a supply of water to wash both clams and hand.
Those jobs should keep me busy don't ya think? 
A really "cool" exhibit in North America was the polar bear pool and that's the only picture on that continent I took where you can actually discern what animal was being photographed.
